Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Liberator Wardens

Once in a while I forget who I am and I start being politically correct. It's at times like these that I feel like a total sell-out for not saying the things I want to say in the manner I want to say them. I feel like I'm going with a flow that will end up down the drain. It's ironic that saying the right things and freedom of speech are both usually advocated by the same people. The irony is that expressing yourself makes little sense if you can't express yourself outside the box and yet you're expected to remain in a box called political correctness. People who advocate freedom of expression are against expressing some things, and in a way, they're saying that it's okay to express yourself as long as you don't touch on certain subjects. On some occasions it is those who condemn the moral vilification based on religion that morally condemn people using private sources.

The problem with conformity with the times we live in is that these times will pass and all that will remain will be a dogma inherited from political correctness or fashion or the morals of the time we lived in. There's so much pressure from the times we live in to conform and believe in some things. There's so much pressure as well to not believe in some things under the pretence of freedom. All the while even the liberators are asking you to believe in something enslaving. It scares me when I'm being pressured into thinking I believe in something while I don't. In matters I truly believe in I may be right and I may be wrong but it shouldn't matter as long as my belief comes from within. It's only when it comes from within that it can evolve to something truer otherwise it will be a large chunk of lifeless stone that pulls me down. If thoughts that come from within are wrong they can be corrected, but when the come from external sources they will either remain immobile or they will suddenly shatter.

It scares me when I'm accepted and welcomed because it means I have to reciprocate and accept ideas of those who welcomed me. I'd rather not be accepted than conform to what can be accepted. It's always easier and even less courageous when saying things from a distance, but when you say things up close there's always the risk of losing your pace amongst people who have taken you in. Nothing comes for free and that precious feeling of belonging which human thirst for comes at a price. The price is too steep for me, the price is conformity and an end to the rebellion within; an end to all that which has kept me going through my years of estrangement from those around me. And now after my rebellion has lead me to you you're asking me to let go of it? What will I be or where would I reach without it?

There's nowhere to go without my thoughts and if I get too cozy and speak what's expected of me I start feeling like a sell-out . I don't need to rebel without a cause, but I need to rebel as long as there is a cause.


Anonymous said...

will e

yet another great reminds me of Anwar El Sadat's statement "Democraty'a bass bil addab."

will let me play devils advocate, does drinking from the cool aid constitute:

Giving up certain ideology/values, as one ages, in-order to survive, settle down and feed his family?

Wael Eskandar said...


Very interesting question you pose, it's right to the point because after what I said it may be deduced that I'm some sort of uncompromising idealist which is not true.

The truth is that survival is impending and when you're responsible for people you're expected to make decisions that don't agree with your emotions. I'm not sure about giving up values, it shouldn't be that way, but I believe life puts us in situations where we have to choose between bad alternatives.

I suppose that the factor determining being a sell-out is not fearing the time when you need to walk out. Being part of a club shouldn't mean that you can't criticize them and perhaps that's the determining factor.

The trouble is that giving up values is a sort of sell-out and giving others up who depend on you is being a bigger sell-out.. Practically it's very tough, bad situation, what do you think?

Anonymous said...

love that:

Being part of a club shouldn't mean that you can't criticize them and perhaps that's the determining factor.

go tell that to bush's chief of staff ...

Oh if there’s anyone with quixotic tendencies it’s me…… Will E, I guess it’s relative as what one might consider diplomacy another will bestow the moniker of selling out. For example Che and Fidel the romantic and the pragmatist, was Che crazy?????? Did fidel sellout?????......Was Nasser crazy???? and threw the baby out with the bath water in 67?...Did Sadat sell our soul for Sinai? ……….

like the new comment screen

Wael Eskandar said...

Practical life isn't as easy as a blog post, and the pressures the surround us are much more overwhelming when we're actually in the situation.

I have no answers to questions of che and castro, sadat or nasser.. but I do know that I don't want the feeling of actually being a sell out no matter how I'm perceived.

Anonymous said...

wiil sorry I tend to complicate things with somewhat odd might be my famished ramadan state :D......but I second you on even the perception of selling out.

Adrasteia said...

it's not odd that people who want you to express whatever you wish might react badly to certain things.

just as you're free to express, people are free to react--right?

just because i want you to be honest doesn't mean i have to like that you think i'm fat...or something like that

and as for selling out. i don't know, i think that's something rockstars and politicians do.

i think trying too hard to be honest is dishonest--it's unnatural i feel. i think sometimes it's a nice thing not to rock the boat when you don't have to and when it isn't going to make a difference

i think maybe staying out of little arguments so one day (if it comes) you're fit enough to fight the good fight-- it's not so bad

dont beat yourself up about it

Wael Eskandar said...

Adriesta, I'm talking about hypocrisy. People can react in whatever way they want as long as they don't act like they're prudes. So basically don't ask me to tell you what I really think if you can't handle it, something like that.

As for selling out, I totally disagree. Everyone can sell out, rock stars the least, it's just that politicians affect more people, as people grow older they face the same temptations in various magnitude. You can sell out and then turn into a poitician no?

Trying too hard to be honest is dishonest.. not sure how.. maybe you mean trying too hard to appear honest is dishonest.. that makes sense. In any case, what I'm trying to say is that people drift away slowly from who they are or set out to be and one day they wake up and realize they've sold out.

One shouldn't argue everything I agree, there's always a time and place, I did agree with you that you shouldn't rebel without a cause, just don't be too comfortable when people think you've got it figured out because that's a big sign that there's something you're missing. That's what I meant by the post i guess..

Adrasteia said...

i know you're talking about hypocrisy.

i don't like the prudes either but they're allowed to be prudes-- i think it's tricky to start saying who can and can't believe in freedom of expression

and i'd argue rockstars affect people more than politicians

and i think a person is necessarilly selling out the second they become a politician-- what i meant was

selling out just feels like a macro-level thing. i think the worst you can do right now is suck up, lie to yourself, be lazy and careless...

eg, throwing rubbish on the street when you've watched all the enviro-friendly ads =not selling out

siging up for/hiding dump-and-run company policies, killing the baby seals and slowly drowning the world and all life on this planet in icky polluted iceberg water= selling out

Wael Eskandar said...

General rule of this world, you're not allowed to contradict.. because when you do it cancels out both sides, so those who advocate lying can't advocate honesty.. That's just a natural rule.. not mine.. people can be that way, but it's my right to point out that contradiction renders their beliefs and words less valuable.

Example of selling out that's down to earth so as to understand it has little to do with baby seals: You stop hanging out with a friend cause society thinks they're uncool... You stop pointing out unethical actions in your corporate career cause you're too afraid to lose your job..

Using bribes to get things done in the government when you never believed in it.. and so on and so on.. you can sell out on so many levels, it just depends on what you actually own.