Sunday, October 28, 2007

Why Should I

Why should I be reliable when everyone else around me isn't? Why should I care for other people's time when they don't care at all for mine? Why should I keep my word when everyone else doesn't? Why should I keep giving if I'm there's nothing that I'm getting? Why should I bear others when they're feeling down when no one will bear me? Why should I be there for people who won't be there for me? Why should I take crap from people in a situation and not give it back to them when roles are reversed? Why should I sacrifice what I want for the sake of the group, while everyone else won't do the same?

Why! Why! Why! Lots of whys and they have no real answers, what if I stop being reliable, what if i stop caring, what if i stop keeping my word.. what if.. what if .. but nothing will happen, nothing will change, the world will be the same, and others like me will want to change. The world's biggest blessing is giving man the ability to care, but it's also the biggest curse. Why should I care? I'm sending this to google as I write and I have no idea what will turn up..

Here is what turned up, a whole list of answers and none of them are much of answers.. guess even google doesn't have an answer to that.

Sometimes you just can't do the best practices in the worst places. Can't ride a bike in a polluted city, can't keep time in a place that respects time, can't be decent in an indecent place. Can't care in a world that doesn't care.


Eventuality said...

You know, I've been asking myself the same question for a long time now. Sometimes I reach the conclusion that I will care because that's just who I am. Sometimes I think to myself, I'll take it on a case by case basis. Other times I just despair.

I guess you just have to decide to be strong enough to be who you are and not wait for any return or any similar behaviour from other people. Because you will keep getting disappointed in the end.

Disappointment is what got me at this stage of having no faith in almost anybody and it's not a good place to be at :)

Deeeeeee said...

Despite the major accomodations people to go through to live within a certain environment and society, one's actions are based upon who he is, his own mentality, morals, ethics and upbringing. You should take pride in being different in that manner!

Anonymous said...

You should keep caring because that's who you are even if those you care about don't care back. We care because it feels good and it's human nature to want to feel good about what you're doing. Caring because you want someone to care back isn't a good enough reason to care.

And it's too easy to say "F it" no one deserves it and I'm wasting my energy. But if you start not giving a crap then it will eventually become a part of who you are: the one that doesn't care about anything or anyone. And we all know that you're not that person or you wouldn't have written this post.

Adrasteia said...

why are you worrying about why?
could you stop caring if you tried?
you're beautiful whether you like it or not, and you make the little things better
and the little things count more than the big ones-- you made me happy over a little bee and you renewed sara's faith in strangers.
you touch people everyday and you'd probably be overwhelmed if you were aware of how much and how often.
if there's one thing human beings neglect the most today, it's appreciation-- the awful ones don't feel it and the better ones don't show it
it's there though. i promise. it only peeks through when people are very happy or very desperate.


i still think you're a good person :)

Maat said...

it's your curse!
secretly though, as frustrating as it is, you would have to feel good about yourself for caring... for being the decent one!

some of the answers you googled are really cool though :D

Wael Eskandar said...

That's lovely feedback.. but the question is genuine.. There comes a time when, choked by all you see around you, change becomes the most natural thing to do.. change to adapt.. it becomes who you are.

Why should I not evolve is the question.. I kept reminding myself to remember who I was, but that didn't make sense because all my life I've been reminding myself of who I want to be and so caring is no longer a matter of fact, but a matter of choice..

I'm not sure I'm by nature a very caring person, but I do know I'm a survivor.. and when you've had enough it seems that you need to stop caring in order to survive..

I'm just not sure if it's worth it to care when others don't.. I know deep down there's an unspoken reason as to why people should hold on to this, but sometimes you need to see it clearly.. and I haven't been able to lately.. not clear enough or defined enough so as to give myself a much needed answer.

Thanks for the comments though.. they've all given me a feeling that I'm much better than I really am.

Adrasteia said...


are you really proposing that apathy is part of the bigger, better neo-human, pfft. apathy is stagnant and debilitating and would result in our extinction.

also--i change my answer. caring in general is good. caring for something specific, and too much, can break you. just prioritize the caring- it's not so black and white. don't do away with it altogether.

insomniac said...

ok, so i am a bit late and some ppl have said most of what i had in mind. but here is a thought: on personal matters, you care because it matters... when ppl don't care back or return the favor when u need it, you either make up excuses for them and continue to care, or you evolve and let go...

it's important to be able to let go and stop caring when it gets too much like adrasteia said; it's like quick sand

and will, you should feel good about urself, ur one of the good guys :)

Nora said...

I have felt that way before. I felt like I was giving too much. I tried to change and I personally did not like the person I was trying to be. I like caring. I like being considerate.
In the end I just chose to get closer to the good friends I had and keep the other ones a bit further away.
Just do whatever makes you feel better.
Hope things get better soon.