Once in a while I forget who I am and I start being politically correct. It's at times like these that I feel like a total sell-out for not saying the things I want to say in the manner I want to say them. I feel like I'm going with a flow that will end up down the drain. It's ironic that saying the right things and freedom of speech are both usually advocated by the same people. The irony is that expressing yourself makes little sense if you can't express yourself outside the box and yet you're expected to remain in a box called political correctness. People who advocate freedom of expression are against expressing some things, and in a way, they're saying that it's okay to express yourself as long as you don't touch on certain subjects. On some occasions it is those who condemn the moral vilification based on religion that morally condemn people using private sources.
The problem with conformity with the times we live in is that these times will pass and all that will remain will be a dogma inherited from political correctness or fashion or the morals of the time we lived in. There's so much pressure from the times we live in to conform and believe in some things. There's so much pressure as well to not believe in some things under the pretence of freedom. All the while even the liberators are asking you to believe in something enslaving. It scares me when I'm being pressured into thinking I believe in something while I don't. In matters I truly believe in I may be right and I may be wrong but it shouldn't matter as long as my belief comes from within. It's only when it comes from within that it can evolve to something truer otherwise it will be a large chunk of lifeless stone that pulls me down. If thoughts that come from within are wrong they can be corrected, but when the come from external sources they will either remain immobile or they will suddenly shatter.
It scares me when I'm accepted and welcomed because it means I have to reciprocate and accept ideas of those who welcomed me. I'd rather not be accepted than conform to what can be accepted. It's always easier and even less courageous when saying things from a distance, but when you say things up close there's always the risk of losing your pace amongst people who have taken you in. Nothing comes for free and that precious feeling of belonging which human thirst for comes at a price. The price is too steep for me, the price is conformity and an end to the rebellion within; an end to all that which has kept me going through my years of estrangement from those around me. And now after my rebellion has lead me to you you're asking me to let go of it? What will I be or where would I reach without it?
There's nowhere to go without my thoughts and if I get too cozy and speak what's expected of me I start feeling like a sell-out . I don't need to rebel without a cause, but I need to rebel as long as there is a cause.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Shallow Gal
I find difficulty relating anecdotes which don't have any added value to them. I can only be sarcastic and angry and I have no sense of humor that satisfies me, generally because I find others' humor not so satisfying either. The things that go through my head are not as trivial as thinking how absurd women look in nineties tights, I mean they do go through my head but I don't feel the need to share it with the world. I would have loved to be funny, but somehow the way my mind operates does not allow me to reproduce the humor going through my system.
In any case, it goes to show that I’m one of these people who think about life, abstract values, and emotions and like to analyze things to get a better understanding of life and so on and so on and the bla bla bla that come along with all that. This may seem a bit of work for others who have got life figured out easily without need for this mumbo jumbo, but it doesn’t work for me. I like to explore the gloomy side and the alternate side of life.
I think it would be a blessing to be what they call ‘shallow’, which is taking things at face value rather than trying desperately to dig down to the mantel and core. It would be an easy life to think I got myself figured out and others around me figured out too, but I’m just not built that way. ‘Shallow Gal’ said I have issues and that I’m disturbed or something of that nature and I actually cracked up.. I can’t reproduce the humor of why I laughed so hard, but perhaps because I found Shallow Gal too shallow and because she just doesn’t know much about life, she thinks anyone who gives things a second thought must be disturbed.
Well after I thought of ways to tear down Shallow Gal on account of her superficiality and her naïve yet satisfactory understanding of the world (her satisfaction that is), I decided that maybe I’m only making myself feel better thinking that I’m somehow better just because I care about the dark and gloomy side of the world. Maybe I’m just incapable of being what they call shallow and my consolation for certain miseries I encounter on account of that is that I think of others as wanting or ‘shallow’. I mean if you can get by and be happy without going through the dark thoughts I go through, then I think you should be commended rather than mocked.
What do I know, I might be disturbed indeed, but at the rate the world is treating everyone, I’m guessing I’m not alone out there. Many may have no clue what I’m going on about, but some others may know that this has become our lives, to think of something further and look for something deeper.
This is who I am, after a party, I can’t just write about the scandals that happened and who was too drunk to do what and other bizarre incidents which I find interesting by the way. I would write about solitude, about that most lonely feeling you can get while you’re in a crowd. I would write about how you’re left with yourself even though you mingle. I would write about how I’m so conscious of myself when I’m drunk and realize I’ve been so isolated from the crowd around because I’m trapped in a shell called me. That’s what I would write, but I suppose others would write about a man drooling over them or an insanely funny drunk conversation.
I don’t think it has anything to do with being better, it’s just how people are built... I’d rather live miserably in what I perceive is the truth, than live happily in a lie... That about sums up my build. I'm not saying that others are only happy because they're living in a lie, I'm just saying that I personally find many truths a cause of some sort of misery and I'd rather continue digging them up than discarding them along with their misery.
I think if I were 'shallow' I would find such things utterly boring and if I were as they say ‘deep’ I would find this utterly useless because people want to search for themselves perhaps, but maybe for those few who have similar thoughts it might be interesting since they feel understood.
I write about what it feels like to be forgotten as a person and unappreciated, but why should popular people think of these things? I think about outcasts and people who are not socially capable of making good friends. I think about people who conform to society so much that they forget to be themselves and lose any natural chance they had to be special. I think of people fighting inner battles with themselves to change something that only sheer will can change. I think about how to take the fall in the way that best makes you strong. I think about how certain ideas that are generally accepted can be wrong. I think about what I can do to correct whatever misguided perceptions I may have.
Yes… all in all I think I’m just disturbed rather than dark or deep or any of that, I’ve seen some of life’s darker side and have no choice but to continue dealing with it. Would I have been less disturbed if my life was all great and perky? I don’t know. Would I have been Shallow Gal if things were different or is it just the way people are built? I don’t know.
In any case, it goes to show that I’m one of these people who think about life, abstract values, and emotions and like to analyze things to get a better understanding of life and so on and so on and the bla bla bla that come along with all that. This may seem a bit of work for others who have got life figured out easily without need for this mumbo jumbo, but it doesn’t work for me. I like to explore the gloomy side and the alternate side of life.
I think it would be a blessing to be what they call ‘shallow’, which is taking things at face value rather than trying desperately to dig down to the mantel and core. It would be an easy life to think I got myself figured out and others around me figured out too, but I’m just not built that way. ‘Shallow Gal’ said I have issues and that I’m disturbed or something of that nature and I actually cracked up.. I can’t reproduce the humor of why I laughed so hard, but perhaps because I found Shallow Gal too shallow and because she just doesn’t know much about life, she thinks anyone who gives things a second thought must be disturbed.
Well after I thought of ways to tear down Shallow Gal on account of her superficiality and her naïve yet satisfactory understanding of the world (her satisfaction that is), I decided that maybe I’m only making myself feel better thinking that I’m somehow better just because I care about the dark and gloomy side of the world. Maybe I’m just incapable of being what they call shallow and my consolation for certain miseries I encounter on account of that is that I think of others as wanting or ‘shallow’. I mean if you can get by and be happy without going through the dark thoughts I go through, then I think you should be commended rather than mocked.
What do I know, I might be disturbed indeed, but at the rate the world is treating everyone, I’m guessing I’m not alone out there. Many may have no clue what I’m going on about, but some others may know that this has become our lives, to think of something further and look for something deeper.
This is who I am, after a party, I can’t just write about the scandals that happened and who was too drunk to do what and other bizarre incidents which I find interesting by the way. I would write about solitude, about that most lonely feeling you can get while you’re in a crowd. I would write about how you’re left with yourself even though you mingle. I would write about how I’m so conscious of myself when I’m drunk and realize I’ve been so isolated from the crowd around because I’m trapped in a shell called me. That’s what I would write, but I suppose others would write about a man drooling over them or an insanely funny drunk conversation.
I don’t think it has anything to do with being better, it’s just how people are built... I’d rather live miserably in what I perceive is the truth, than live happily in a lie... That about sums up my build. I'm not saying that others are only happy because they're living in a lie, I'm just saying that I personally find many truths a cause of some sort of misery and I'd rather continue digging them up than discarding them along with their misery.
I think if I were 'shallow' I would find such things utterly boring and if I were as they say ‘deep’ I would find this utterly useless because people want to search for themselves perhaps, but maybe for those few who have similar thoughts it might be interesting since they feel understood.
I write about what it feels like to be forgotten as a person and unappreciated, but why should popular people think of these things? I think about outcasts and people who are not socially capable of making good friends. I think about people who conform to society so much that they forget to be themselves and lose any natural chance they had to be special. I think of people fighting inner battles with themselves to change something that only sheer will can change. I think about how to take the fall in the way that best makes you strong. I think about how certain ideas that are generally accepted can be wrong. I think about what I can do to correct whatever misguided perceptions I may have.
Yes… all in all I think I’m just disturbed rather than dark or deep or any of that, I’ve seen some of life’s darker side and have no choice but to continue dealing with it. Would I have been less disturbed if my life was all great and perky? I don’t know. Would I have been Shallow Gal if things were different or is it just the way people are built? I don’t know.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
We're Fine
She looked at her husband lying on his bed barely able to move after five operations and four days in a coma. He was barely able to move but was aware of everything that was important to him. He was happy to see his wife but he was concerned about his son Hussam who had been in the accident with him. She greeted him with joy in her heart and told him how glad she was that he's doing well. He moved his lips to say Hussam. No sound came out but his lips said it.
His wife looked at him and said, "We're all fine and we're waiting for you to get well."
Again with his lips he asked, "Hussam" and though he said it with no sound it was very audible to her. She replied, "He's fine, he's just a bit shook up from the accident," she put on a smile and went on, "he's just waiting for you to get a bit better and it'll take him some time to get better himself." Her mouth could not hold the smile anymore, "we're all fine," she said, "we're all fine."
She became thoughtful for a moment and stood up and repeated, "we're all fine." She paced about the room still thoughtful and saying as if to herself, "we're all fine," then she looked at him and said, "your daughter gave birth to a boy." She watched his reaction and then said, "we called him Hussam, like his uncle." Her eyes gave her away and she paused and calmly said, "Hussam died." Her broken spirit oozed out of her whole body. "Hussam's died, Hussam died." She kept repeating it and broke into tears as she said it. He stared into her eyes as she looked back at him, his body unable to move. She looked at him with so much love; "Our son died… Our son died."
His face didn't move and tears slowly started dripping from his wide open eyes and slowly covered his sad, sad face. His face muscles hadn't twitched but his face was soaked with sadness nonetheless. She flung herself into his arms while she said, "our son died," and theirs was a long warm but sad and bitter embrace.
There are things between those that are married that are born with them that create a sense of attachment they never thought possible. How do they cope with such a loss, the only way is through each other, and oddly enough they're the source of that loss.
"Our son died." These words were powerful enough to sculpt Everest. That Hussam died was hard enough to hear but to see his wife who had shared with him his entire life share that insurmountable loss was more than he could ever bear. Yet those same words, "Our son died," coming from his wife contained his salvation too; those same words, "Our son"; "Our" was the only thing that could make him imagine that by some miracle he could bear it, because he wasn't going to do it alone.
Sausan Badr has proved to be such a superb actress. This is a scene out of the ramadan series 'Eldaly' where Sausan Badr delivers a very powerful and elegant performance. I haven't been a great fan of Nour Elsherif however in this scene he's done a fabulous job, he expresses himself perfectly with his eyes. It was such a touching scene and I have no idea why I wrote what I wrote except that it moved me. It adds nothing and it's better to be seen with Sausan's tone and expressions. Her performance is very sincere and heartfelt and I could really feel her broken spirit.
His wife looked at him and said, "We're all fine and we're waiting for you to get well."
Again with his lips he asked, "Hussam" and though he said it with no sound it was very audible to her. She replied, "He's fine, he's just a bit shook up from the accident," she put on a smile and went on, "he's just waiting for you to get a bit better and it'll take him some time to get better himself." Her mouth could not hold the smile anymore, "we're all fine," she said, "we're all fine."
She became thoughtful for a moment and stood up and repeated, "we're all fine." She paced about the room still thoughtful and saying as if to herself, "we're all fine," then she looked at him and said, "your daughter gave birth to a boy." She watched his reaction and then said, "we called him Hussam, like his uncle." Her eyes gave her away and she paused and calmly said, "Hussam died." Her broken spirit oozed out of her whole body. "Hussam's died, Hussam died." She kept repeating it and broke into tears as she said it. He stared into her eyes as she looked back at him, his body unable to move. She looked at him with so much love; "Our son died… Our son died."
His face didn't move and tears slowly started dripping from his wide open eyes and slowly covered his sad, sad face. His face muscles hadn't twitched but his face was soaked with sadness nonetheless. She flung herself into his arms while she said, "our son died," and theirs was a long warm but sad and bitter embrace.
There are things between those that are married that are born with them that create a sense of attachment they never thought possible. How do they cope with such a loss, the only way is through each other, and oddly enough they're the source of that loss.
"Our son died." These words were powerful enough to sculpt Everest. That Hussam died was hard enough to hear but to see his wife who had shared with him his entire life share that insurmountable loss was more than he could ever bear. Yet those same words, "Our son died," coming from his wife contained his salvation too; those same words, "Our son"; "Our" was the only thing that could make him imagine that by some miracle he could bear it, because he wasn't going to do it alone.
Sausan Badr has proved to be such a superb actress. This is a scene out of the ramadan series 'Eldaly' where Sausan Badr delivers a very powerful and elegant performance. I haven't been a great fan of Nour Elsherif however in this scene he's done a fabulous job, he expresses himself perfectly with his eyes. It was such a touching scene and I have no idea why I wrote what I wrote except that it moved me. It adds nothing and it's better to be seen with Sausan's tone and expressions. Her performance is very sincere and heartfelt and I could really feel her broken spirit.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Too Many Regrets
From the movie Human Trafficing
She: Thank you sir, I promise you won't regret this.
He: I have many regrets, don't promise me this.
She: Thank you sir, I promise you won't regret this.
He: I have many regrets, don't promise me this.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
The Dangerous World
The modern world has forgotten what the world is really like. The world isn't a safe place to be and it never was. The world has always been dangerous, chaotic, unpredictable and dismal. When those of the first or second world countries visit those from a third world country they are shocked and sometimes even appalled by what they see. They see poverty, and with poverty a very low standard of living, and with that they witness survival, and with survival you can always tell it's a jungle and with a jungle there's always danger. They see a family of three or four on a motorbike and might even condemn the danger of this situation. The father doesn't have many alternatives and risks his family's life to survive. The world has always been this dangerous from the times of the jungle. We try to shield loved ones from the horrors and dangers of this world but we cannot protect them from the world.
They see a government that has deprived its people of many of their basic rights, but it's still a jungle where the lion as the king of the jungle retains his right to devour a weaker victim if he so chooses. Yet lions kill when they want to fulfill their appetite for food rather than their appetite for power. How can governments do that to people they might ask, or how do people let them get away with it, but the means to fight back themselves have been taken away a long time ago and the new generation is left without even the memory of what could be done to fight back. What they don't realize is that we've become toothless beasts, full of energy but without anything to bite into.
The world was harsh, and is so even now. It's harsh for animals and harsh for children. People from first world countries may come into a country much like this one and wonder why animals are being treated with cruelty. The fact is that children are treated with the same kind of cruelty in this country. People are treated with the same cruelty. Children have to be independent just like they were in the old days. They walk the streets and count on themselves while their parents either work themselves to death or give up hope of living a decent life. When kids walk alone down streets evading cars and crossing the road it's considered crazy, where are their parents, how can they leave children unobserved? Yet the world is a dangerous place and third world countries are not blessed with a social system that safeguards people.
Yet even with an advanced social system like that we see in first world countries the world remains dangerous. The danger takes on different forms but the world remains constant and consistent in its danger. Instead of poverty there's crime, and instead of children being unsafe on the streets, they're unsafe in schools where shootings have become close to a regular activity.
The thing is that the world with its naked face is very scary and ugly. Society, government and family try to cover it up as much as possible and sometimes that love and protection from our families and friends makes the world less scary and less ugly due to the presence of true virtue. But nevertheless, the world remains scary. We can sometimes live in denial but that will make it all the more shocking when the world shows its true face. We have to realize that there are situations where we just aren't protected by anyone.
The man on his motorbike with his family doesn't need a defense. He's a survivor and no matter how advanced some of us have become, there remains a few primates that are present to serve the community.
They see a government that has deprived its people of many of their basic rights, but it's still a jungle where the lion as the king of the jungle retains his right to devour a weaker victim if he so chooses. Yet lions kill when they want to fulfill their appetite for food rather than their appetite for power. How can governments do that to people they might ask, or how do people let them get away with it, but the means to fight back themselves have been taken away a long time ago and the new generation is left without even the memory of what could be done to fight back. What they don't realize is that we've become toothless beasts, full of energy but without anything to bite into.
The world was harsh, and is so even now. It's harsh for animals and harsh for children. People from first world countries may come into a country much like this one and wonder why animals are being treated with cruelty. The fact is that children are treated with the same kind of cruelty in this country. People are treated with the same cruelty. Children have to be independent just like they were in the old days. They walk the streets and count on themselves while their parents either work themselves to death or give up hope of living a decent life. When kids walk alone down streets evading cars and crossing the road it's considered crazy, where are their parents, how can they leave children unobserved? Yet the world is a dangerous place and third world countries are not blessed with a social system that safeguards people.
Yet even with an advanced social system like that we see in first world countries the world remains dangerous. The danger takes on different forms but the world remains constant and consistent in its danger. Instead of poverty there's crime, and instead of children being unsafe on the streets, they're unsafe in schools where shootings have become close to a regular activity.
The thing is that the world with its naked face is very scary and ugly. Society, government and family try to cover it up as much as possible and sometimes that love and protection from our families and friends makes the world less scary and less ugly due to the presence of true virtue. But nevertheless, the world remains scary. We can sometimes live in denial but that will make it all the more shocking when the world shows its true face. We have to realize that there are situations where we just aren't protected by anyone.
The man on his motorbike with his family doesn't need a defense. He's a survivor and no matter how advanced some of us have become, there remains a few primates that are present to serve the community.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
What Moves You
What is it that moves you? Money, Power, Mercy, Love, Kindness, Friendship... What is it that is left after you've had all your success? Everyone has an answer I'm sure, but in my own opinion some are right answers and some are answers to be re-assesed.. I was just thinking if you told a greedy person that all that he wants in the world is his, what more would be his purpose? I'm just thinking out loud; the luxury of having thinking time.
5 Years ago I was reading about how Socrates was arrested and condemned to death, he was offered a chance to escape, but he didn't. He believed in the system that condemned him to death unjustly, and that's why he didn't run. I thought him very stupid not to save his skin, but later on after thinking about it, I realized he was lucky to know exactly what he would die for. For one to be worth something, he has to care enough about something to die for.
So what is it that moves you? What would you die for? That's a question I asked myself and I ask you, because only by answering this will we know what is truly important.
5 Years ago I was reading about how Socrates was arrested and condemned to death, he was offered a chance to escape, but he didn't. He believed in the system that condemned him to death unjustly, and that's why he didn't run. I thought him very stupid not to save his skin, but later on after thinking about it, I realized he was lucky to know exactly what he would die for. For one to be worth something, he has to care enough about something to die for.
So what is it that moves you? What would you die for? That's a question I asked myself and I ask you, because only by answering this will we know what is truly important.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Hinder Me Some More
Hinder me some more because when the time comes to act I will explode. I’ve been tired and worn down for so long that I’ve almost become immune. But with my feeble strength I shall explode. With my malnutrition I shall fight and I shall be strong. For years you’ve oppressed me and stamped on me and my kin you’ve wronged. I can’t stand another rich man making more money and forcing me to pay what little I have. Hinder me some more before I explode into a revolution. I cannot stand to see another figure of power abuse me and beat me, hinder me some more before I avenge myself. I cannot stand to see injustice upon injustice from those who swore to give me justice, hinder me before I explode. I’m already dead, and so if you care for your life, stop killing me more.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Monk Episode
I was watching an episode of the TV series Monk whose obsessive compulsive disorder is extraordinarily intriguing. In any case, one particular scene is why I'm writing all this which was in a way surreal and in a way out of place.
Monk was sitting on a bench in the park while a garbage collector was passing buy with a long stick that picks up garbage on the floor. So he picks one and moves on but Monk is bothered, he points to another and the garbage collector picks it up. He then points to another and the guy obediently picked it up.
Finally he points to something else on the floor and the garbage guy tells him, "But it's just a leaf," but Monk tells him, "Just thought while you're at it." So the guy picks the leaf and places it in the garbage.
He then looks to Monk and says, "Do you think you're better than me? Pointing at all the garbage from your bench? I used to make 210 grand a year."
So Monk asks, "And what happened?"
The garbage collector says, "I took a week off, it was enough time for them to realize they didn't need me anymore."
It's odd that things can turn around so easily and you can find yourself in a lesser state. You can find yourself suddenly obsolete and the very thing that you've given all your time to has taken that time and more. It's a situation similar to that described by Rudyard Kipling ,"[to] watch the things you gave your life to, broken,And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools." But how many of us can stoop and build and use our worn-out tools.
Monk was sitting on a bench in the park while a garbage collector was passing buy with a long stick that picks up garbage on the floor. So he picks one and moves on but Monk is bothered, he points to another and the garbage collector picks it up. He then points to another and the guy obediently picked it up.
Finally he points to something else on the floor and the garbage guy tells him, "But it's just a leaf," but Monk tells him, "Just thought while you're at it." So the guy picks the leaf and places it in the garbage.
He then looks to Monk and says, "Do you think you're better than me? Pointing at all the garbage from your bench? I used to make 210 grand a year."
So Monk asks, "And what happened?"
The garbage collector says, "I took a week off, it was enough time for them to realize they didn't need me anymore."
It's odd that things can turn around so easily and you can find yourself in a lesser state. You can find yourself suddenly obsolete and the very thing that you've given all your time to has taken that time and more. It's a situation similar to that described by Rudyard Kipling ,"[to] watch the things you gave your life to, broken,And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools." But how many of us can stoop and build and use our worn-out tools.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Disappearing Things
At my house we've been facing a very abnormal phenomenon. Things disappear. One of the cats disappeared the other day. The house was combed with the efficiency of a forensic team to find out where he's hiding but to no avail. We used almost all senses known to man to uncover the location of that lost cat, touch, hearing, speech and sight. We searched all places, and specially the dining room and the reception. A few hours later, sitting at the dining table with my laptop I heard the sound of a cat, and out he comes from underneath the table.
That he reappeared after a long while is in itself not so puzzling, for as a cat, he could have probably moved to several locations and there was probably a plausible explanation for all of this. But what really compounds the effect of this disappearance is that it has happened before with various other objects.
We were missing a pair of glasses that disappeared in a similar manner, we searched the house thoroughly, but since they were a pair of glasses they could have been lost, I grant you that. The trouble is that they reappeared after several months, and the manner in which they did is enigmatic. While my mom was vacuuming the house, the vacuum cleaner found in its path those glasses, and the place where we found them was the corridor that joins the reception to the bedrooms. Now this is a corridor that we use a lot needless to say, and the fact that no one saw them or even stamped on them is ridiculous. What makes it even worse is that sometimes we need to collect some cat hair from the ground and look intently to see that it's been cleaned.
But if that's not enough, the same incident happened again with a pair of sunglasses. Lost for several weeks, the reappeared again behind the computer table. This is a place where most of the photos I hang with blue tack keep falling and I have to collect them and put them up again. Again it's one of the places we've searched for cats, photos and the sunglasses. The manner in which the sunglasses were found is that we looked and found them. They weren't hidden and there was no possibility of them having been there all along.
In any case, after having described flatland to my mom, she's convinced that there exists a forth dimension that these objects visit. I keep telling her that we're not inside a movie for these things to happen, but her counter argument is better… they did. Sometimes logic is illogical based on evidence, and maybe it's incomplete evidence and there's a plausible explanation but to be honest the constant reoccurrence of these incidents is a bit troubling. Not that I'm troubled as in worried, but it's just nice to see that there's more to life than we can really see.
That he reappeared after a long while is in itself not so puzzling, for as a cat, he could have probably moved to several locations and there was probably a plausible explanation for all of this. But what really compounds the effect of this disappearance is that it has happened before with various other objects.
We were missing a pair of glasses that disappeared in a similar manner, we searched the house thoroughly, but since they were a pair of glasses they could have been lost, I grant you that. The trouble is that they reappeared after several months, and the manner in which they did is enigmatic. While my mom was vacuuming the house, the vacuum cleaner found in its path those glasses, and the place where we found them was the corridor that joins the reception to the bedrooms. Now this is a corridor that we use a lot needless to say, and the fact that no one saw them or even stamped on them is ridiculous. What makes it even worse is that sometimes we need to collect some cat hair from the ground and look intently to see that it's been cleaned.
But if that's not enough, the same incident happened again with a pair of sunglasses. Lost for several weeks, the reappeared again behind the computer table. This is a place where most of the photos I hang with blue tack keep falling and I have to collect them and put them up again. Again it's one of the places we've searched for cats, photos and the sunglasses. The manner in which the sunglasses were found is that we looked and found them. They weren't hidden and there was no possibility of them having been there all along.
In any case, after having described flatland to my mom, she's convinced that there exists a forth dimension that these objects visit. I keep telling her that we're not inside a movie for these things to happen, but her counter argument is better… they did. Sometimes logic is illogical based on evidence, and maybe it's incomplete evidence and there's a plausible explanation but to be honest the constant reoccurrence of these incidents is a bit troubling. Not that I'm troubled as in worried, but it's just nice to see that there's more to life than we can really see.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The Value of Latte
People are suffering, and I don't mean the upper middle class who suffer from expensive coffee shops or quadruple the price of electronic equipment when compared to the rest of the world. The average person is suffering greatly, and in effect we don’t really have an average person, we just have a huge base of poor people who are receiving inadequate education coupled with private lessons that only enable them to pass nearly obsolete tests which give them no chance of working anywhere competitively. The average person has disappeared and has been obliterated from existence. For every one thousand people getting poorer, one man gets a thousand times richer.
The real trouble is not just the suffering of these people, but their deterioration that will become our doom. The result of all the eighties movies where problems such as education, private lessons, jobs and housing were all discussed are starting to bear fruit now as we can see that the country has produced a fine bread of bitter opportunists along with helpless citizens and of course, the cream of the crop, terrorists.
I would imagine that those running the country have no love or compassion for anything or anyone around them, not even their children, for if they had some sort of compassion, they would not let the country fall to this dark and harrowing destiny. It is almost certain that their children or grand children will suffer from this chaos that they've helped create. Maybe they just intend that their children inherit their power and money, but history has shown us that the weak one now will later be strong and the strong one now can even rot in a military prison when his time has come.
Injustice breeds injustice and we've bread a lot of that. We're now harvesting some of the bitter fruit, but in time more will come. The fashion back in the day was organized revolution, but these days the fashion is some sort of vigilante revenge. I don't know where the future will take us, but what I do know is that now, the average man is suffering greatly. In one visit to a café from any of the upper middle class the amount spent is enough for one man to support himself and perhaps his family for a month. That 12 L.E cup of coffee that will soon cost 30 is a million light years away from the thoughts of those average people. Even milk purchased at the store has increased in price, and what we will have in the future is a fine generation with weak bones who are not even able to do the physical jobs that the government wants them to do.
The prices are killing people. They're struggling for the sake of the rich, and for what… for no reason. The rich are getting greedy and asking the poor to be more content with less. The country has become a consumer, it consumes all the imports and produces nothing but overpriced coffee places. The country is consuming all its resources but worse yet consuming all its people.
And here we are, sitting at cafés using the wireless internet and sipping on latte. I wish there was something more that we can do but there's a certain air of hopelessness because our worlds have been separated, we don't live in the same Egypt that Egyptians do. I'm not entirely sure how Egyptian we are because we're so distant from each other. I'm certainly very distant from that poor man who survives on what I pay in one day for going out, and I'm distant from those who seem to earn a hundred pounds for every ten they spend. We've been alienated from one another, we don't feel that we belong with one another and very soon we'll start to hate one another.
The real trouble is not just the suffering of these people, but their deterioration that will become our doom. The result of all the eighties movies where problems such as education, private lessons, jobs and housing were all discussed are starting to bear fruit now as we can see that the country has produced a fine bread of bitter opportunists along with helpless citizens and of course, the cream of the crop, terrorists.
I would imagine that those running the country have no love or compassion for anything or anyone around them, not even their children, for if they had some sort of compassion, they would not let the country fall to this dark and harrowing destiny. It is almost certain that their children or grand children will suffer from this chaos that they've helped create. Maybe they just intend that their children inherit their power and money, but history has shown us that the weak one now will later be strong and the strong one now can even rot in a military prison when his time has come.
Injustice breeds injustice and we've bread a lot of that. We're now harvesting some of the bitter fruit, but in time more will come. The fashion back in the day was organized revolution, but these days the fashion is some sort of vigilante revenge. I don't know where the future will take us, but what I do know is that now, the average man is suffering greatly. In one visit to a café from any of the upper middle class the amount spent is enough for one man to support himself and perhaps his family for a month. That 12 L.E cup of coffee that will soon cost 30 is a million light years away from the thoughts of those average people. Even milk purchased at the store has increased in price, and what we will have in the future is a fine generation with weak bones who are not even able to do the physical jobs that the government wants them to do.
The prices are killing people. They're struggling for the sake of the rich, and for what… for no reason. The rich are getting greedy and asking the poor to be more content with less. The country has become a consumer, it consumes all the imports and produces nothing but overpriced coffee places. The country is consuming all its resources but worse yet consuming all its people.
And here we are, sitting at cafés using the wireless internet and sipping on latte. I wish there was something more that we can do but there's a certain air of hopelessness because our worlds have been separated, we don't live in the same Egypt that Egyptians do. I'm not entirely sure how Egyptian we are because we're so distant from each other. I'm certainly very distant from that poor man who survives on what I pay in one day for going out, and I'm distant from those who seem to earn a hundred pounds for every ten they spend. We've been alienated from one another, we don't feel that we belong with one another and very soon we'll start to hate one another.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Flatland
I've just finished reading Flatland, a book by Edwin A. Abott. It's a great book, but who am I to review a book written in 1884 that has been reviewed to death I suppose. The thing is that I hadn't heard about the book or even the story, and having read it, I think it ought be more well known for its brilliance. If you're a mathematician or a computer science, it's an absolute must, even if you're interested in sociology it's one of those books that's worth reading.
In 1884, this was a book way ahead of its time, describing a flat land where all people or shapes are just two dimensional. He describes their limited view and life, which is exciting for them nevertheless. It mirrors our own world in many ways, and the class system we have, only explained more explicitly. Shapes with six sides are superior to those with five and so on. You cannot acquire an extra side, or an extra standing in society, only your children do, unless you're a working man, which means you'll never prosper. That limited view, being described depicts our world that can seem meaningless if only described. It only has value when lived or experienced.
There's more allegory there and the whole book is just like a big review of society. It's amazing that not much has changed since then, all our prejudices and all our discriminations and disbelief. Besides the mathematical brilliance and the social brilliance, there's also a philosophical depth to it. The protagonist, a square, stumbles on the existence of a third dimension. It's not something he can perceive but only something he can deduce and have faith in. This reflects a bit of our faith in only what we see, which may not always be valid because there is a certain sort of reasoning, or analogy, or something else we never notice that points us to the existence of something beyond our imagination and senses.
The third dimension is not something the square can comprehend and with reason alone he fails to see that it exists. Only a visit to that third dimension convinces him. He also visits a one dimensional world that cannot comprehend his two dimensions. He then decides there must be a fourth dimension and for that matter a fifth and sixth.
The idea of many dimensions is present amongst physicists who are working on String Theory. In 1884, that theory of many dimensions seems to have been in existence and it's amazing how hard it is we still find it to believe there's some dimension we don't know anything about. I think the book simplifies this point of view if one is struggling with it.
How often have we refuted things on the sole basis that we cannot see it? It seems all too numerous. Often we say that things don't exist just because we haven't experienced it, but it seems that this is slightly narrow minded, since we can definitely not see that much.
The book is a very short read but certainly, in my humble opinion, an underrated classic. I'm not so sure it's underrated really but I know that I hadn't come across it except by chance, and I'm glad I did.
Looking forward to seeing Flatland the movie.
In 1884, this was a book way ahead of its time, describing a flat land where all people or shapes are just two dimensional. He describes their limited view and life, which is exciting for them nevertheless. It mirrors our own world in many ways, and the class system we have, only explained more explicitly. Shapes with six sides are superior to those with five and so on. You cannot acquire an extra side, or an extra standing in society, only your children do, unless you're a working man, which means you'll never prosper. That limited view, being described depicts our world that can seem meaningless if only described. It only has value when lived or experienced.
There's more allegory there and the whole book is just like a big review of society. It's amazing that not much has changed since then, all our prejudices and all our discriminations and disbelief. Besides the mathematical brilliance and the social brilliance, there's also a philosophical depth to it. The protagonist, a square, stumbles on the existence of a third dimension. It's not something he can perceive but only something he can deduce and have faith in. This reflects a bit of our faith in only what we see, which may not always be valid because there is a certain sort of reasoning, or analogy, or something else we never notice that points us to the existence of something beyond our imagination and senses.
The third dimension is not something the square can comprehend and with reason alone he fails to see that it exists. Only a visit to that third dimension convinces him. He also visits a one dimensional world that cannot comprehend his two dimensions. He then decides there must be a fourth dimension and for that matter a fifth and sixth.
The idea of many dimensions is present amongst physicists who are working on String Theory. In 1884, that theory of many dimensions seems to have been in existence and it's amazing how hard it is we still find it to believe there's some dimension we don't know anything about. I think the book simplifies this point of view if one is struggling with it.
How often have we refuted things on the sole basis that we cannot see it? It seems all too numerous. Often we say that things don't exist just because we haven't experienced it, but it seems that this is slightly narrow minded, since we can definitely not see that much.
The book is a very short read but certainly, in my humble opinion, an underrated classic. I'm not so sure it's underrated really but I know that I hadn't come across it except by chance, and I'm glad I did.
Looking forward to seeing Flatland the movie.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Compromise
Two kinds of people strip the word compromise of meaning; those who can't compromise at any time and those who compromise all the time.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Tailored Morals
He tailors his morals according to who he is, rather than tailor his actions according to morals he has chosen.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Confidence
What Confidence is, is that which cannot be explained. It is as mysterious as all other words that link the tangible with the intangible, the physical with the spiritual, the seen with the unseen, as mysterious as faith, for it is a kind of faith, faith in yourself. If you don’t have it, then you have no power but when you do have it, then you have a vast power that is not supported or justified by anything except the fact that you have that mysterious faith in yourself.
It is very strange; to be worth nothing at first, but just by having confidence and nothing more, be truly worth something. It is both a feeling and a quality simultaneously, not a very common combination but in it is where the magic lies. It can’t be taught and no one can convince you of it, but it has to come from where it will reside, from within.
But sometimes a really honest and penetrating look towards yourself can help you. Questions arise like, do I want people’s approval? Do I desire happiness? These questions are answered usually by a ‘Yes’, but then the most logical question is triggered, “How can people love you if you don’t love yourself? How can people believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself?”. You don’t have to be smart, good looking, funny or with any outstanding qualities to love and believe in yourself. You have to be honest and have confidence, that’s all there is to it.
But how can this be? Not having anything and yet having faith in yourself? Does it not seem slightly impractical?
You are Adam and you are Eve for whom this world was made. You are God’s creation and with all your flaws and all your virtues, you exist. No need to be shy, no need to grumble, you have to enjoy the world that was made for you. Before you start loving your virtues and qualities, love your flaws and who you are. Change what you want, be who you want but love yourself and have faith in you.
On a day, long ago, I despised what I was and how I looked and how I acted and what I was worth, and I deserved all that because I hated me, and I had no faith in me. But in a day I changed and loved what I was and how I looked and how I acted and what I was worth and though nothing had changed about me, I deserved that love that I bore myself and that faith I had in myself, and all that I deserved just for having confidence in myself. It changed what I was worth from nothing to everything.
Confidence is not what the strongest, the prettiest, the fastest or the smartest people have for there is always someone who is better, bigger, stronger, prettier, faster, smarter. Confidence is what Adam and Eve have, God’s creation, beautiful in their imperfection accepting what cannot be changed and changing what can be bettered.
21st June 2003
It is very strange; to be worth nothing at first, but just by having confidence and nothing more, be truly worth something. It is both a feeling and a quality simultaneously, not a very common combination but in it is where the magic lies. It can’t be taught and no one can convince you of it, but it has to come from where it will reside, from within.
But sometimes a really honest and penetrating look towards yourself can help you. Questions arise like, do I want people’s approval? Do I desire happiness? These questions are answered usually by a ‘Yes’, but then the most logical question is triggered, “How can people love you if you don’t love yourself? How can people believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself?”. You don’t have to be smart, good looking, funny or with any outstanding qualities to love and believe in yourself. You have to be honest and have confidence, that’s all there is to it.
But how can this be? Not having anything and yet having faith in yourself? Does it not seem slightly impractical?
You are Adam and you are Eve for whom this world was made. You are God’s creation and with all your flaws and all your virtues, you exist. No need to be shy, no need to grumble, you have to enjoy the world that was made for you. Before you start loving your virtues and qualities, love your flaws and who you are. Change what you want, be who you want but love yourself and have faith in you.
On a day, long ago, I despised what I was and how I looked and how I acted and what I was worth, and I deserved all that because I hated me, and I had no faith in me. But in a day I changed and loved what I was and how I looked and how I acted and what I was worth and though nothing had changed about me, I deserved that love that I bore myself and that faith I had in myself, and all that I deserved just for having confidence in myself. It changed what I was worth from nothing to everything.
Confidence is not what the strongest, the prettiest, the fastest or the smartest people have for there is always someone who is better, bigger, stronger, prettier, faster, smarter. Confidence is what Adam and Eve have, God’s creation, beautiful in their imperfection accepting what cannot be changed and changing what can be bettered.
21st June 2003
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