Oh, gentlemen, perhaps I really regard myself as an intelligent man only because throughout my entire life
I’ve never been able to start or finish anything...
Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He has others
which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret. But finally there
are still others which a man is even afraid to tell himself...
Saturday, February 05, 2011
The Conspiracy Theory
Thursday, February 03, 2011
When Words Have No Place
I’m asked often how I feel about what’s going on in my country. I’m asked for news while I follow the news on Al Jazeera, twitter, friends from the scene or what have you. I haven’t found the right words to describe how I feel today, perhaps because it is a mixture of emotion and grief. It’s sad to belong to a group of people betrayed by everyone around them. An army chooses to stand idle as civilians it is sworn to protect are killed by a police that were sworn to protect. The words cannot express my rage at this injustice that we face, betrayed everywhere from all sides, except the people of other nations. Together we stand in solitude against the oppression of our governments and their quest for power.
What can I say, when words have no place. I am shocked at the amount of evil we’re faced with. At dark times like these how can one believe that the power of goodness can overcome these dark forces. The people protesting are not angels, they are human beings who might have taken bribes, or broken the law. But they are showing goodness beyond the capacity of human beings. Those people brought up in the most dire conditions, where you take what you need by force have embraced an idea based on faith not logic, that these protests will be peaceful. They did not take up arms, or weapons or make Molotov cocktails to prepare for their protests. They went unarmed in open space against the oppressive of governments with the sole faith that goodness shall prevail, that they must adhere to peaceful protests and not throw the first stone.
How did these people, lacking education, lacking the experience of right prevailing, overcome their past experiences and decide to protest peacefully for a change such as this.
The Egyptian people would make any nation proud. They have stood up for their rights in the most admirable way imaginable. The atrocities of this regime are the worst and anything change will bring will be better. A wounded beast hanging on to dear life, taking down everything around, destructive and sinister. For the regime, they are slaves, to be herded, intimidated and killed.
The country is in ruins as we speak, and those who rule it are determined to destroy it before they leave. They would rather burn it all than give any of its citizens a piece of it.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Scary Nights and Tyranny
Tonight is a scary night despite so many things that relay a sense of security. The scene in Tahrir completely festive, friends I’ve met, people I’ve talked to. The army is protecting people against the tyranny of the police. Tomorrow the million march begins and what scares me is that I have too many questions about what just happened this past month.
A church bombing; a policeman killing copts, police brutality. All of these took place. Surprisingly enough the army moved in and nobody was hurt. The army protected Egyptians. For a while, no one knew whose side the army was on. Then, the army made it clear that it means the people no harm. But who controls the army, isn’t it Hosny Mubarak? If he was behind police violence, why did he not order the army to shoot at protesters? Did he give the order and did the army refuse?
So many questions and mixed messages that cannot be interpreted easily. Passion is blind and does not ask for explanations and that’s why I suppress my passion and search for answers. If Mubarak controlled the police, why did he order them out of every inch of the country at the same time? But at the same time, why did the army take steps to fill that void?
Is Mubarak sinister? I don’t have the answer to that question, because I’m not looking for my answer through passion. Is Mubarak capable of such grand treason to the people of Egypt? Why then has he kept Egypt out of wars and bloodshed. He may sell parts of the country, he may make friends with our enemies, but is he a man who has no regard for human life? He may not care for people’s financial well being, but is he mad enough to tear down everything he has built?
I’ve liked Mubarak on a personal level. He can be funny sometimes and is largely considered a war hero. Whenever anyone he knows gets sick, he calls, for he knows that health is such an important thing. In my opinion he does so out of a sense of respect for that matter. He is a tyrant however and cannot be trusted. I loathe the way he runs the country, and I believe that whether it is intentional or out of ignorance, the result is that he must leave sooner or later. Unlike the rest of the revolution, I opt for later.
The truth is that Arabs have seldom had an ex –president, and that would be nice to have. He hasn’t massacred people like a Stalin, he hasn’t sent our troops to die for another person’s war like Nasser. In fact, he hasn’t done anything but take away our dignity. He should stay in Egypt and be tried for the dereliction of his duties.
I’ve said this before but no one really listened, we’ve already won, but we just don’t realize it. We have made our voices heard, worn down the seemingly invincible police, brought in the army and for the first time applied enough pressure for immediate change.
A voice of reason asks me not to make this overthrow an illegitimate one. I want to wait so as to do it right. I fear for the plans of these power hungry men to subdue us again, but I feel it is our duty to do things right and not be like them. We can’t be unlawful just because they are. We’re becoming the new tyrants. Each of us, from the oppression and injustice we faced exploded into self righteousness and from there on tyranny.
The messages are mixed. Omar Suliman, the vice president has promised to talk things out with opposition, and at the same time he promised to uphold the rule of law. That sounds promising but is it true? Many things make me doubt the regime’s intentions. Why has the internet been blocked? Will the phones be blocked? Why?
All I know is that we have power, and we need to negotiate our terms with someone. It took them so long to do this, and while the decision may be delayed due to unforeseen reasons, it seems that they don’t want to give us what we want.
Today is a night to be remembered. Are we being played by various forces? Why did burglars try to break into Maspero (the television building), why were there documents that asked protesters to occupy Maspero. There is a grand conspiracy out there somewhere, and it may be that the young people were being played. I feel there are so many unanswered questions and my theories which I did not share may all be false. At times like these, despite my innumerable thoughts and hypotheses, I will do nothing but pray. For with such unknown odds, one must ask the powers that be to allow the best to happen. I pray for no bloodshed, too much has been spilt already. I pray for no chaos, too much has taken place already. I pray for justice, too much injustice has been served to us already.
A mob has no brain, I pray they stumble upon one tomorrow.
31 Jan 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Gun Shots and Coffee
Another night spent out in the streets as one man clings to power even if it means harming several million. The world watches, silently, waiting for they tyrant to bring those people to their knees so that their lives don’t risk being disrupted.
The night was pleasant, even though reports of gun fire and danger were delivered consistently throughout the night. The early hours of the evening seemed like the middle of the night, a scene very uncharacteristic of Cairo where heavy traffic doesn’t stop till an hour or two past midnight. The atmosphere is very communal, young men and old around camp fires, others playing football in the blocked off street. The streets are ours minus the menacing cars that were always stuck in traffic. It was like going to a cafe to meet people without the service.
In the distance, gun shots could be heard and rumors of ongoing battles and such. Still, the people armed with sticks and stones prepared for the worst and hoped for the best.
People stuck together and worked together. Some went to protest, others guarded the neighborhood. There’s no one on our side but ourselves. The whole regime is against us without sympathy for the rights we ask for. The police are certainly the most venomous, but there are others. The army so far has not harmed the people, which is something people may have expected anyway from a treacherous ruler. The people look thankfully upon the army for doing its job, something which all other government bodies have failed to do for years and years. But the army still follows the order of one man who puts his interests above all others. I’ve wondered how so much control can be exerted over honorable men without question.
The internet is still amiss, and it will not be up again till the revolution is quelled. The US continues its hypocrisy with very weak responses to a villainous regime. The people, like prisoners out of control, are being herded in, intimidated and conspired against.
I always thought this revolution was about loyalties. The turning of loyalty is key to victory. Some people will choose to betray their brethren to serve a dictator, others will betray the dictator to serve their brethren. Some people will betray their values, others may find them.
That’s the funny thing about people, they’re unpredictable, some of them anyway. Who knows what a man wants, and why he wants it, but those who find themselves wanting a better future for their children will give people what’s rightfully theirs.
30 Jan 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Egyptian Police: A Manner of Treason

A group of people hopeless due to an oppressive government that decided their services were not required stumbled upon something quite extraordinary: hope.
The vibrant youth that walked in the first protests on January 25th were not thinking of all the hardships that such a positive move brings. They only thought hope was afloat and so they must act. They acted responsibly, peacefully, exercising much restraint despite the mountain of repression within. The consequences were the whole nation’s to bear.
Following the violent attacks from the police on January 28, matters escalated and between the hours of 5 and 6 pm, as army units arrived to the scene cheered on by protesters, the police disappeared. All the police from all of the governments in every post were gone and were not to be heard of for the remainder of the night. In the heat of the moment, protesters celebrated the victory over their archrival, but something else happened that night. Organized mobs looted and burned shops, attacked police stations, freed prisoners, took weaponry, terrorized neighborhoods and attacked houses. Naively we believed that to be a price to pay for the successful uprising as all revolutions or uprisings had their share.
The army declared a curfew, and we did not understand why at the time. The following day, the same militia seemed relentless, looting and terrorizing. The act of thousands changed the lives of millions. The same young men with many more took upon themselves the responsibility of seeing this through.
As media covered the catastrophe of how Egypt, one of the safest countries in the world was turned into a den of thieves, people called upon the army to help in a panicked frenzy. They, in turn, called upon their youth who were never needed before to protect their neighborhoods. The young men took to the streets and set up local checkpoints with roadblocks to keep the streets safe. They were armed in sticks, stones or knives, anything they can get their hands on while the perpetrators possibly had guns. Bravely they stood their ground in the face of a danger they did not set out to bring upon themselves that very first Tuesday they marched out.
Interestingly, those left in such a vulnerable position commended the youth of January 25 and never complained as to the state they were in. The people had accepted these brave hopeful young people of as representatives to their cause. More than that, they were proud of them despite their fear.
The young men took it upon themselves to bring down the perpetrators. Thugs were caught and much to everyone’s surprise some were found to be from the police force.
It came as shocking news to some that the police had betrayed Egypt in such a manner, but to most of the young people who went out to protest it came as no surprise. The police had always betrayed Egypt’s trust as of late, so what if the manner of treason was so blatant this time around? It was one of the reasons that triggered all these protests.
The government media denied all allegations against the police and vindicated them, but now, accusations were out in the open. The police betrayed everyone including those defending them. Every news anchor and every news writer that attacked the protesters and defended the police was in jeopardy and now it was those protesters falsely accused that were protecting them.
As the police continue in their treason, people continue to defend their homes. Even valiant officers who were given indefinite leave from the force join the ranks of people and help defend the neighborhoods as citizens. The police failed the people but more than that it failed policemen.
I left tonight to try and keep my streets safe not knowing what would happen if we met with armed gunmen. I met many from my neighborhood whom I had never seen before. We talked and found ourselves united in our grievances. Having been guilty of being amongst those who partook in the protests I asked those who had not participated if it was worth it. Despite the bitter cold and the lack of sleep, there were no complaints. Everyone knew that we had to set out to change the way things are and that we had to win back our dignity somehow.
I write this now as the usual thugs employed in every protest, in every electoral rig, in every bullying feat storm the streets of Egypt. They set out to unleash chaos in every governorate in a methodological manner. Fear is in the air as bullets are heard across the capital and other cities, but so is hope and pride as young people protect the streets. A sense of calm is present as the army commits to protecting its citizens against those cancerous cells.
They don’t have a chance, because we know what we’re fighting for.
We’re winning but we’ve got lots more to go. We’re winning because for the first time, we’re all proud of one another, for being given the opportunity to live up to a responsibility. These are difficult times, but they are also very moving. The same people who did not care to make a stand earlier deeming things hopeless are now making a stand. The same people who had nothing but fears, broke those barrier and face more dangers. We’re winning because youth who were given no choice but oppression are trying to break free, paying a heavy price set by their oppressors and trying to buy themselves back.
Jan 29 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Why I Protest

I write this now mostly to those who are not in Egypt, mainly because internet has been blocked amidst an intentional media blackout orchestrated by the Egyptian government, conspiring against its own people.
The complete and utter brutality of the Egyptian regime has never been exemplified as much as it has during the protests that started on 25 January of 2011. As I went out to protest, people around me were from all classes and all ages, yet contrary to what was reputed about the Egyptian characters, they were very responsible, peaceful and disciplined. Egyptians knew the rules of a protest well, to keep it peaceful and not to use foul language. For every one person who even thought of breaking these rules, there were 10 to point him back to the way chosen for this protest.
Unprovoked, the police would use tear gas, beat up protesters, and hire thugs with bats, knives and swords to intimidate and beat up citizens. All this is captured on video and yet the US refuses to act and continues to provide Egypt with weapons. Police fire live ammunitions on protesters and America remains silent. America supplies weapons to criminals who break the law put by their own country and the worst part is that they’re the ones trying to uphold it. Contrary to US popular belief, Egyptians are fond of Americans, but when the US does not practice what it preaches about democracy, freedom and human rights, people become wary of their treason to their own values. It’s not true that only Mubarak will serve America’s interests, unless America will only rely on dictators to serve its own end.
I may seem to have been sidetracked, but it only seems that way. It’s not the US, but the values that Americans and westerners can relate to that I’m really trying to express. Since I send this out to places with less oppressive regimes, I want to tell you that the reason I went out to protest are the values that west preaches.
I come from an upper middle class family, with an upper middle class job. I have a car, I have a phone, I have money and I’ve been around the world. I’m not financially impoverished and yet I protest. I protest because in Egypt we lack dignity and a sense of humanity. I protest because I cannot take part in any elections and they’re all rigged. I have no voice, I have no vote. I protest because poverty around me impoverishes me even though I possess money. I protest because everyone around me is unhappy and we’re capable of so much more, so much more.
I protest because it’s not enough to have money, one needs a sense of respect as a human being and we don’t have that. I protest because those who are poor do not even have the little respect I’m given. There are too many injustices and the regime sits idle, at most commending the bad and punishing the good. I don’t know how one can stand for that, and yet America does. I don’t know how one can be silent for 30 years and yet Egyptians have.
The world is silent, watching, waiting as a media blackout takes control of Egyptians. Governments like vultures watch and wait for an outcome, condemning weakly by voice, and not at all through action. It seems that money means more for governments than human lives. I know that this is not the sentiments of people it represents. I know that people in the US like Egyptians value freedom, dignity and equality more than they value selfish gains by unlawful dictators.
This is the situation in Egypt, if it wasn’t already clear to outsiders. Egyptians of course know all this. They are aware of the tyranny and oppression we’ve been faced with for 30 years. They know what it’s like to fight so hard for the simplest right and not get it. In one day, a decision to cut us off from the world was taken, and the aim was to slaughter us in the absence of media reporting and as I speak now, wounded people are unable to communicate with hospitals, families and friends in order to receive medical care. The country is up in flames and still the government imposes the media blackout.
It took Mubarak four days of the most intense protests in the history of modern Egypt to even begin to listen to what was being said. Even then he did not understand any of the concerns of the people and accused them of violence rather than his police and thugs. Who could accept a ruler like that?
If it takes so much effort to get nothing, what use is it belonging to a government like this? The government must change, cheating must change and the criminals that govern us must change. Is it too much to ask?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Facebook and Twitter Blocked in Egypt
1- UltraSurf - www.ultrareach.com or
2- Hotspot Shield - http://anchorfree.com/
3- MediaFire - www.mediafire.com

Sunday, January 23, 2011
Article 54
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Egyptian Protest Manifesto
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Justified Anger


Sunday, January 02, 2011
A Love that Died
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Wazza Reggae Hymns
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Voice Over: When State Security Controls Your Life
