How could I have let myself become such an alien. It's simple and everyone does it. It's those simple crucial moments that I let pass me by without having a say in them. Now I realize that I am who I am in moments and their combination make up my character.
It's become increasingly difficult to analyze my ways as they've become more complex compounded by age. It's even harder to present solutions now, abstract solutions that can have a changing effect on my character. Even my handwriting has changed now. I've known that personality can be unveiled through handwriting traits and so it makes sense that my handwriting has changed.
I need to be in contact with myself in all the moments that need me. I need to decide what it's best to be. It has to be natural not contrived.
Munich, Feb 2008
I don't know if I'm talking about the same thing, but I have this syndrome, where I can no longer identify what exactly my personality is! Through all things I tried and been through trying to find my way, want I want and what my passion in life is, so many things have added up to the initial 'me' and I don't really remember what that was! Is that the same thing?
Is there a way to decide that a certain set of qualities make you who you are, a way to stick to them, never change them and never let go of a single one? Or is it part of the cosmic plot, where every single character in the story evolves and there's no way to stop that evolution?
I think it's close enough, for me that time was when I was drifting from who I wanted to be because things were taking me there. It's a result of periodic self evaluation and trying to go my own way rather than where circumstances take me.
There is a way to stick to certain qualities, but I'm not sure about never letting go of a single one because I believe that we never have it all figured out, sometimes we're doing it wrong.
The only way is to keep evaluating yourself and your targets, keep first things first and don't be disillusioned by the flashy temps that life presents us, and as cliche as it sounds remember who you are, where you came from and where you're headng to.. with these in mind you can always find the right track. That's what works for me anyway.
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