Saturday, December 15, 2007

Entangled Ropes

When you're in a relationship with someone they become a part of you. Your parts and theirs are entangled together like two ropes knotted randomly over and over. When you break up you get detached from that person and when they leave they take away that part of you. There's no way to disentangle your bits from theirs and so what happens is the equivalence of passing scissors through both strings to let them loose. That's why the person breaking up gets away intact, he's managed to get all his rope and bits and pieces of the other's, it really depends on who cuts where. Sometimes you want no bits or strings of that person at all and even though you're breaking up with them you sacrifice yours. At first you miss that person. The end of the relationship means that you will not have that person in your life anymore. It feels bitter but after a while you can let go and you can accept that this person is not in your life anymore, and there's a void you feel; this void can easily be filled by other things.

But there's a different kind of void that is much harder to fill, it's that part of you they took with them that you can't find. What you were missing all along is yourself and you didn't even realize. That's why not just the relationship falls apart, but other aspects of your life too, because the part that's missing, that has been taken away from you is part of how you dealt with the rest of the world and not just this person. That's why the blow makes your whole world collapse. I think that you'd need to regenerate that part of you that you lost before you can become normal again, but it is not necessarily a bad thing because that new part of you has the chance to grow into a much better part than that which existed before.

6 comments:

Adrasteia said...

this is going to be a bit shocking--
but i agree

people always assume that a relationship is made of two halves completing each other-- like a yin yang.

but a yin and a yang are whole in themselves-- and a person should be whole before looking to include the responsibility of caring for someone else

Ehab A. said...

This absolutely true

La Gitana said...

You don't even need to be broken up for a person to have stolen a part of you that you used to love. Trauma in a relationship seems to always leave one or the other or both missing a piece of themselves. All the time I feel like my SO took away all the pretty parts of me and left me with the crap.

Cairene said...

This must be one of the wisest things I've heard from you. Except, I'm not sure the part that grows is a better part than the one that's lost. Sometimes the part that lost was bound to be lost by age, but it still doesn't mean that the one that will grow will be better; maybe only stronger and wiser. Love your post.

Nora said...

I really like this post...

:o)

Marwa Rakha said...

This is the first time I stop by your blog ... shame on me ...

I love the scissor image ... I just want to let you know that whether you are the one who ended the relationship or you are the person who was forced out of it, the pain is the same ...

If it was a real relationship, you both grew into this entangled format and trust me on this, it hurts both ways.

Regenerating? Yes of course ... but sometimes when people regenerate they rush the process and the end result is a dysfunctional piece of work - think silicon:)